It's that time in your life and you've decided to start your family. So you stop using any form of contraception and start taking notice of your monthly cycle with excited anticipation. Your period is a few days late and you're starting to get a bit excited. Then it arrives and disappointment sets in. Oh well. Maybe next month...or the next...or the next. But with each month your cycle continues. The disappointment starts to become a sense of loss. Each period represents the baby you don't yet have. Each period leads to a greater grief. A silent grief. The kind of grief that comes with the loss of hope. The loss of dreams. The loss of control. "Why is my body letting me down?" An often lonely loss. An invisible loss. A loss that leads to isolation. "It's so hard to congratulate that friend on her baby news". "I've been trying for months...doing all the right things and she never even mentioned wanting a baby". "If I have to smile politely one more time when someone asks when it's my turn I'm going to scream". "No one else can see it. The pain I'm in. I mean it isn't like a real physical loss is it? Not like really losing a baby?"
These losses are real and need to be acknowledged as real. The loss of hopes and dreams, the loss of a potential pregnancy, the loss of control of our body / fertility. These are real losses. These feelings of grief, loss, isolation...even anger and frustration... can have a significant impact on how we see ourselves. On our self-image. On an individuals' or couples' self-concept.
It's important to take care of yourself emotionally and seek assistance of a counsellor or therapist if you need help coping with the psychological effects of infertility. Either individually or as a couple. Each partner goes through their own tumult of emotions and couples may feel isolated from each other, impacting intimacy and enjoyment of life while adjusting to cope with the implications of infertility.
It's important to take care of yourself emotionally and seek assistance of a counsellor or therapist if you need help coping with the psychological effects of infertility. Either individually or as a couple. Each partner goes through their own tumult of emotions and couples may feel isolated from each other, impacting intimacy and enjoyment of life while adjusting to cope with the implications of infertility.
Unfortunately infertility affects about 1 in 6 couples. Of those:
A healthy couple can take 6-12 months to conceive given optimal conditions and timings. After 12 months of regular unprotected sex a couple is usually regarded as infertile.
So what can you do?
First, see your GP or family planning centre. After some testing you may be advised of some of your options.
Medical techniques for assisted conception may include:
Common alternative therapies to treat infertility are:
If fertility is frustrating you....seek support and assistance. The isolation of infertility can be lessened with understanding, knowledge and support.
Further Resources
www.access.org.au a great site full of fact sheets and information about fertility.
www.beyondblue.org.au If those feelings of loss and grief get too much...
- 40% are male reproductive issues
- 40% are female reproductive issues
- 20% are of unknown cause
A healthy couple can take 6-12 months to conceive given optimal conditions and timings. After 12 months of regular unprotected sex a couple is usually regarded as infertile.
So what can you do?
First, see your GP or family planning centre. After some testing you may be advised of some of your options.
Medical techniques for assisted conception may include:
- Ovulation Induction
- IVF
Common alternative therapies to treat infertility are:
- Hypnotherapy
- Acupuncture
- Naturopathy
- Osteopathy and Chiropractic
- Traditional Chinese Medicine
If fertility is frustrating you....seek support and assistance. The isolation of infertility can be lessened with understanding, knowledge and support.
Further Resources
www.access.org.au a great site full of fact sheets and information about fertility.
www.beyondblue.org.au If those feelings of loss and grief get too much...